Lose yourself
by CrystalGlacier
Summary: A metalhead spy loses all of its memories after it conceals itself in a human disguise.
1. Beginning

**AN: Not quite sure whether I'm going to make anything of this or not, the idea just popped into my head and I need to practice first person view a little.**

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Prologue:

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Bright, cruelly white rays from the sun swept over my body, burning against the tender, ruddy skin around my eyes. I tried to blink the heat and soreness away, but it didn't work. A loud rumble trembled from my abdomen, the intense hunger churning in my belly. It was something that I sensed I was rather unfamiliar with, but I wasn't sure why.

Heck, I wasn't sure of anything at the moment. Some nights ago I had simply come to be, born into existence flat on my face in a flowerbed. I woke up to see the area I was positioned in riddled with beings I for some reason knew looked like me yet felt absolutely no kinship to, my head filled with extensive knowledge about this peculiar place, but no memory of how I had obtained it.

I just… knew. And with that, I began my aimless wandering of the streets in Haven city, the streets splitting into branches and slithering between tall, grey buildings that jutted out of the ground. The Precursors know how many hours I've spent circling around myself this place, without really going forwards or backwards. When the weight of my eyelids got too much for me to bear and the dizzy lightness of my mind made it too difficult for me to keep on walking, I would seek myself to a corner to try to get some sleep. Only a few moments would pass before a "Krimzon guard" started nudging and prodding at me, pondering whether or not I was just another victim of this cruel, merciless city.

No, my life hadn't ebbed away. Not yet anyway. But I had a feeling that if I kept this sleepless and foodless routine up, it soon would.

The confusion and despondency grinding against each other inside my head merged into a sudden rage, one that I channeled through a swift kick at an innocent clot of dirt at the ground. It rolled away for a few turns before it split in half and crumbled apart. The large movement of my body demanded more energy than I was in possession of, causing a long lingering moment where I felt everything dissolve into blackness and I slammed my hands on my knees, supporting myself before I passed out.

Deep, strained breaths escaped my chapped lips trough gritted teeth. I couldn't possibly begin my existence just for it to be ended right away, it wasn't fair. Not fair at all. But there was nowhere in this cursed place I could get free shelter and free food. Everything had its price. And I had nothing to pay with.

With the exception of my body and my freedom. But where the hell would anyone accept those things as currency…?

A sudden loud, male burst of laughter vibrated within my long ears, making me arch my chin up in curiosity. The source came from a group of about four guards and their commander chattering with each other a few yards away. The commander's back was turned against me, his body enveloped in a snug uniform, colored yellow and dark blue, his shoulders and chest well protected by thick, red armor.

With a groan, I straightened myself up and took one tentative step towards them. Then another one. My eyes nailed into the commander, my steps pacing up as I sauntered somewhat off balance forwards. As I treaded within arm's reach, I raised my left hand and slammed my palm to the back of the man's head. He let out a cry of surprise at the impact and staggered forwards, turning around to see me with a slack-jawed bewilderment etched into his face. I curled my right hand into a fist and flung it at his nose, slamming him off his feet. A split second later, large gloved hands had clamped around my arms, briskly towing me away from the commander who now kneeled on three of his limbs, uttering a stream of profanity while he squeezed his nose bridge between two fingers. Wild fury radiated from his amber eyes as he snapped his face towards me, shouting; "What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you want be locked away in a prison?"

I could only smile bitterly in response.

Yes.

That was the place.


	2. Chapter 1: Interrogation

**AN: The point of view transitions between the main character and Errol in this chapter, just to avoid any confusion.**

Oh, and by the way; DWP = Dark Warrior Program

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Chapter one: Interrogation

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My arms were constricted in the giant paws of two sourly guards who half dragged, half carried me along the polished floor of the long hallway. The light feet of Commander red-head what's-his-name screeched loudly against the floor behind me while he was belching out insults and threats both at me and any of his fellow soldiers daring to ask if they could get him a napkin for his nose. At this point I was starting to get pretty irritated and somewhat confused. I had been well-behaved and not resisted arrest. Why were they handling me with such force when I wasn't even trying to run away?

"I can walk without help, you know," I mumbled, wriggling my arms in attempt at loosening them from their iron grip and allow blood to circulate through them.

"Oh, it speaks," the Commander spat contemptuously behind me. "I thought you were a mute. Change of plans; we're going to the interrogation room."

The guards holding me turned abruptly, the brutal yanking of my arms nearly popping them out of their sockets. Nausea swelled up in my abdomen, leaving the taste of stomach acid burning in my gullet. As my eyes were watering from the unpleasant sensation I began questioning whether this was such a good idea after all.

A door swished open to our left and the guards unsympathetically tossed me into the room, making me stumble to my knees, my face stopping a mere inch from the single chair present. A cockroach scurried between my legs, seemingly distressed. I placed my hands on the seat to support my weight as I tried to stand up, my legs quivering. Fully upright, I slowly turned around to face the only human being present in the room with me.

Commander red-head what's-his-name.

With one hand coating his nose and the other pointing at the metal chair, he gruffly barked, "Sit."

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My nose throbbed and ached against my gloved hand, now soaked in blood, the only thoughts racing through my head as I scrutinized the delinquent were contemplations of a really fitting punishment. The kid stared wearily at me, looking as drained and hollow as a prisoner after a DWP session.

"Sit down," I repeated, stretching my index finger towards the chair for emphasis. The scruffy teenager threw her hands up in resignation and seated herself with a sigh. I cocked my head as I observed her, my eyes wandering from her head to her toes.

What a sight. Thick, greasy, tufts of black hair enclosed her sallow face, the skin dark and fatigued under her eyes. A simple, sleeveless grey robe, almost similar to those of monks, swathed her lanky, awkward figure, brownish stains suggesting that she had been sleeping outside for quite a while. I could feel a shudder crawl down my spine and I was barely able to contain my disgust.

Eugh. How _hideous. _

Regardless, as a professional I couldn't let that sway me. Besides, despite her rather pathetic exterior, she could throw quite a punch. Which she was going to pay badly for.

"Aw, just look at that face," I sneered mockingly. Even with her eyes locked on her knees, I could see her blink, her expression furrowing in puzzlement. "I'll be damned if there's ever been a smile on _that_ one. What's your name, sunshine?"

"Don't remember," she muttered. I raised a brow.

"Don't remember your own name?"

"Don't remember anything beyond a week back or so."

"Uh… huh."

As the bleeding had stopped, I removed my hand from my nose and placed them both on my hips.

"Why did you attack me?" I asked. "Do you have any idea what the sentences are for people who assault high-ranked officers in the Guard?"

Her eyes flicked up, lingering at me for a moment before she looked away. "Yeah, actually. I wanted to be taken to prison."

I blinked. "What's that?"

"I hit you because I wanted you to take me to prison."

Full stop. It took several moments for the information to be completely processed in my head, leaving me batting my eyelids in an embarrassing bewilderment. "I'm sorry; did you just say that you _want _to go to prison?"

"Yeah."

"…What for?"

The kid breathed a light sigh through her lips. "I need food and roof over my head and… I don't have anything to pay with, so… you don't need to have that in prison… right?" She, or whatever _it_ was, looked up at me, seemingly insecure. "Right?"

The absurdity of the question left me speechless. I shook my head in disbelief and felt a swift surge of anger towards her swell up.

"Are you insane?" I yelled, flaring my teeth as I tossed my hands out, fingers spread. "You know what, I think you are! You can't possibly be _that _extraordinarily stupid, can you? The things that happen to prisoners in the Fortress should be enough to make anyone wish they were dead, and you -"

"But they _won't _be dead," she interrupted, somewhat firmly. "Isn't that what matters?"

In a split second, I had leaped across the room, with my back arched over her and my finger quivering threateningly close to her face. _"Never interrupt me!"_ I hissed furiously. The scrawny teenager's jaw dropped as she stared perplexed at me, her eyes like two positively stunned orbs in her pallid face. Whatever reaction she was expecting from me, it clearly wasn't that. I deeply inhaled a shivering breath, pulling away from her as I counted down from ten inside my head in an attempt to cool my sudden rage.

_Alright, Errol, calm down now._

My breath was exhaled in a fatigued sigh, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I rested my thumb and index finger on the nose bridge between them. "You know," I began, removing my hand and fixing my gaze to hers, "we feed our Krimzon Guard recruits too, and much, _much _better than the inmates. Why didn't you join, if you're _that _desperate?"

The teenager seemed taken aback by my question. I tilted my head curiously as I studied her. Maybe I was just imagining things, but she appeared so oddly uncomfortable in her own skin. Her mouth moved strangely, almost amateurish in a way when she spoke, and she constantly blinked forcefully and wrinkled her nose.

_Maybe she has a brain damage or something._

I cocked a brow. "Well?"

A slight twitch moved the corner of her mouth. "Uhm… uhm, no." She shook her head. "Nuh-uh."

"Why not?"

"Uhm… I don't really… uh… I don't really like your… your…" She blinked hard. "…your tattoos."

Both of my eyebrows went up. Then I started laughing. "You'd rather be dead or in prison than join the KG because you think our tattoos are ugly?" I asked, both in disbelief and amusement.

A long silence ensued. The girl hesitantly cleared her throat. "Uh, sorry," she mumbled. "Can I ask you something?"

I narrowed an eye warily. "What?"

"When can I get some food?"

I said nothing. My face contracted into a painful scowl as I clenched my fists and glared at her.

_Nervy. Little. Punk._

A sudden motion in the corner of my eye caught my attention, my gaze fixing to a somewhat large, frantic cockroach scuttling over the floor.

_Teach. You. A lesson._

My arm dashed out at the bug, feeling it struggle against my gloved palm as I crushed its head between my fingers. In one swift, curt movement I flung its body into the teen's lap. She stared at it in astonishment for a moment, before slowly looking up at me and back to it.

"Here," I breathed, "is your damned food."

She blinked. I eyed her with anticipation, expecting to see shock or disgust.

"Thanks," she said simply and grabbed the insect, raising it up to her face and ripping it in two with her teeth. My jaw dropped. I could only stare in shock as terrible crunching noises sounded from her mouth, white bug meat gleaming from between her lips whenever she parted them. After a while, she was done chewing and finally swallowed.

"Blech."

I could feel my eyes growing in size.

My natural curiosity formed a question I almost did not dare to utter.

But I couldn't help it.

"How does it taste?" I asked in a whisper, too low for the guards outside to hear.

She grimaced. "Worse than I expected."

My body suddenly convulsed in a rush of repulsion and I swiftly turned towards the door behind us.

"Ugh, you're _disgusting! _Guards, take her away!"

Two of my men promptly entered the room, their armor clattering slightly as they strolled past me and apprehended the prisoner. I avoided looking at the trio when the exited the room, the door loudly whirring shut behind them. Glancing over at the chair, I noticed the other half of the cockroach lying on the floor. For a moment, I stared at it. Contemplated. Then I shook my head.

_No. There's no way I'd do that._

And with that, I left the interrogation room. It was about time to pay a little visit to our newest and most promising DWP subject.

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End file.
